They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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