I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
