so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
