Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
