Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize