I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize