kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
