We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
