just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize