I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am spending my child support on dildos
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
this hospital has no fireball
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
