I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
