hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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