hell yes lets make some ravioli
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
as a side note pls kill me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
