I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
