I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
