i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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