Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
