i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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