she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
