Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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