I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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