i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
