I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
