you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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