I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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