woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
