Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
