Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
