I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
