it hurts more in the daytime
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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