is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
