You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You need a sexual gate keeper
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
