So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
