Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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