In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
