If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
