Whod you bang
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I believe in your delicious
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