just come out here and I will go home with you...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
please don't ironically join a cult
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