so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
