I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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