Can Purell be used as lube?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
