i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
