don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
