The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
