i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
