Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize