im holly from the hills drunk
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
