I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
