Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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