Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
