got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Shame - the story of my life.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
