people are starting to question the shark bite story
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
