Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
