So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
then he tried to convert me to islam
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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