so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
