the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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