you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
