K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
