I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
4 words: hood of his car
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
