is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's shark week go big or go home
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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