The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
