I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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