Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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